"A lil bit or a whole lot more of something?"

Yesterday was shit. Honestly. Fucking shitty. Within half an hour, 2 people let me down tremendously. Thanks. There I was, standing outside Lucky Plaza all alone. Waiting. On a busy Saturday with motherfuckers smiling and ogling their eyes on me. I was so fucking pissed and disappointed at the same time. Why must I be the stupid one, wasting my time waiting for some motherfucker to show up. Fucking late. And this is not the first time mind you.

No one would even want to keep me company just for a lil while. Even if that somebody was just at Paragon and I was at Lucky Plaza. Would it even hurt to just walk over for a minute? And when the line was cut off, would it hurt even more to call back? No? Yes? In fact, do you even care? You don't even have the decency to do anything at all and there you were acting all clueless. And I even call you my best friend? Some fucking friend you are. Thanks alot.

And so this asshole arrived, super late. I was in the toilet, crying, feeling fucked up. He was all about apologizing time and time again. I was not in the mood to even face him. I felt like fuckingly slap his fucking face. Or maybe give him a good punch. I walked and he followed me everywhere like literally. I was so fucking irritated by his presence already. He has been taking me for granted all these while and I am not going to take any more nonsense. What do you take me for if you think you're so different from the rest? Still the same in my eyes.

Thanks alot yeah Apek and Faliq.

~~~~~

I then called Rayyan. Once I heard his voice, I immediately burst into tears. I blurted everything out to him. I don't know why but somehow, I just had to call him. I asked him why must every guy be the same even he is too. I'm so giving up on guys. Fucking morons.

He was really sweet yesterday actually. He asked me whether I wanted to meet him and see his new still under renovation house. I said okay. He waited for me at Bedok. Finally that night, I felt so appreciated. Somehow, I feel like we have this thing going on. It's like no matter what, we always end with each other. I don't really know why. It's like whenever I call him, he would be helping me and vice versa. As we were walking to his new flat, he talked about how many of friends asked him why aren't we together again. I just have nothing to say to that.

I remember, few years back, when we were still together, he told me he would want to bring me to his new house. At that point of time, the land was just empty. Now, there are flats ready for people to move in and I'm surprised he actually kept to his words. Upon arriving, I saw some paint tins, A couple of lamps, a mat and a radio. The flooring and the lights have not been done yet. The light was dimmed and it gave kinda romantic vibe in the house. Everything was nice. We ate then we lied down on his mat and just talked for a lil bit. He seemed so excited showing me his house and telling me ideas of what he wants.

We then proceed to Simpang Bedok just to have some bites and watched some football match. Arsenal won. Bah. Bla bla bla. Bought food for my parents and off we go.

Thanks Rayyan for everything.