"Drinking all those sorrows away."
I wish for that Gucci bag and that Samsung NV20 camera. Bleah.

Hi everyone! Here I am, lying on my sofa with the lappie on my stomach, chatting with sha darling. I just want to say thanks for all the birthday wishes. Appreciate it so much. Am listening to Natalie Imbruglia's Torn. Awesome piece I'd say. I'm done with my assignment.

These past few days had been great. I'm elated. Enough said. Sure I can blog about my birthday with you people but Preveena is holding on to my usb cable. The photos are in my digicam, sitting in the drawer waiting to get out. So I guess we just gotta wait ey. Nothing much happened actually. My dears Fai and Nadia cutie pie even blogged about me bday. How sweet aren't they? I bet. So right now, am just rambling watever come to mind. Oh and Apek made everything DIY style since he hasn't get his pay yet. He made a birthday card, decorated candles, made me heart shaped tuna sandwiches [ fyi, he even cut his thumb cutting them ], heart shaped balloons, baked me a chocolate cake from scratch decorated it with m&ms and honeystars, etc. Hell, I don't even know how to bake. I'm still waiting for my seafood dinner. I wonder when will that be.

I so want a guy who can bring a smile on my pancake face. Who would cater to my needs. Who would pay for every little thing like dinner, movies for example. My mum said a man should pay for everything. I used to believe her but due to some circumstances, I can't because it takes two to clap and when one is getting dry, another has to help lighten that burden. But for long? I don't know.

It's real stressful at times I admit. My expectations are high and those who believes can successfully steal my heart. Yes.

Right now I feel so scared but I show no emotion. I feel like I'm losing my mum. I already lost my dad. Me and him, we don't talk anymore. Now I don't really talk to my mum that much anymore. She knows almost every wrong about me already. I come to wonder if she even knows me at all. About my depression. About my trips to the doctor. About me popping pills. About my lonely nights crying. Most of the time I feel like shit. Heck she doesn't even favour the idea of me schooling or that my older sister is pursuing her studies in NUS. I totally get it because she is not growing any younger each day. She is tired. She's the only sole breadwinner in the family. The one to give us pocket money everyday and such. She sacrifices a whole lot for us without any help from anyone. I know if she could, she would want to drop everything and relax herself out. I promise I will make that day the greatest for her, shower her with every wealth we'd be making. Soon. Hang on.