"We were both eighteen and it felt so right."

"Call me out
You stayed inside
One you love is where you hide
Shot me down as I flew by
Crash and burn
I think sometimes you forget where the heart is

Waking up from this nightmare
How's your life
What's it like there
Is it all what you want it to be
Does it hurt when you think about me and how broken my heart is"

I turned 21 yesterday.
Just imagine how excited I was on the 19th, anticipating his presence with birthday plans.

The bad news came in on that 19th afternoon.
"I'm really sorry I really want today to happen but this shit had to happen. Im trying my best."

And I thought this could have been a joke.
I called him and he sounded serious.

He is charged for 3 days. That is the only thing I know. We talked for a little bit then soon after his cell went to off mode ever since. How do you feel not knowing anything at all?

I keep asking myself what did he mean by charged for 3 days. I have no idea. It could mean DB or just confinement at the fire station. I cannot even contact him and imagine how devastated I was when the clock struck 12 midnight, welcoming my birth day. Part of me hoped he would be calling and I wanted to believe he was outside my door to surprise me. Of course nothing happened while my cell buzzed with wishes from others.

Reality set in and I found myself bawling after calling his cell countless times to no avail.
I want my mind to be at ease. I need to know what is happening to him.

This is absolutely unfair.
We planned to meet on the 19th that night and spend time til the following day but everything is ruined.

I am utterly sad and disappointed.
I've never ever spend my birthday without him by my side.
Until yesterday.

I shall wait for tomorrow.


I was a wreck in the head with swollen eyes, worrying myself insane and crying at night.
This year is the most saddest birthday.

Loser is me.

Thanks Sha Ella for hanging with me on my 21st.
You are the best friend I can totally count on.
You still made an effort to meet me despite being busy with school/work.
I love you.
Thank you for being here for me.